is the best defense
What is social anxiety ?
Briefly, it’s the belief that you can’t speak to strangers. Those who have social anxiety are scared to talk with many people, including their superior, strangers and sometimes friends. Also extraterrestrials.
Why am I speaking about a belief ?
Because it ain’t true. That’s not that they can’t speak to strangers.
They are afraid. Because their mind think that it is dangerous to speak with strangers…
This limiting belief often comes from an event in the childhood.
Something related to fear happened. Unfortunately, this event was associated with speaking to strangers.
Which leads to social anxiety.
What I know about anxiety
I was a victim for a long time. It wasn’t social anxiety. It was dog anxiety.
It doesn’t exist may you think. Well it does.
I was afraid of dogs. Whatever the race or the size. I found them literally scary. I couldn’t walk near one without feeling this anxiety devouring myself.
I couldn’t walk on the same sidewalk as a dog. It was impossible.
I had to cross the road and go away to be at ease. That’s why it doesn’t make long that I walk daily.
I still don’t get why I had this fear.
No dog bit me – as far as I remember – so it doesn’t come from this.
Well, it took me more than 10 years to get rid of this dog anxiety.
I didn’t apply a specific method.
I just faced my fear. I walked on the same sidewalk as a dog. Once. Then twice. After many iterations it became obvious. Dogs were dangerous.
Guess what happened ? 3 enormous dogs bit me on the kn…. Kidding.
Dogs weren’t terrifying anymore. I was healed.
I figure out that you can solve every anxiety with this process
- Define your anxiety. In our case it’s social anxiety aka the fear to speak to people.
- Experience your fear again and again.
- Repeat till it isn’t scary anymore.
Wow. Sounds like a great program you could find everywhere. Pretty theoretical right ? Now you have even more questions.
- How can I push myself to fight this fear ?
- How much time do I need to repeat the process ?
- How can I define my anxiety ?
- What if I’m too afraid to speak to people ?
- Will this problem solve by itself, like in your story ?
What I know that you don’t :
If you go against this fear enough time, then you won’t be afraid anymore.
My only job with this article is to solve your social anxiety “problem”. In order to make win this challenge, I have to convince you that you must fight your anxiety by exposing yourself to it.
We will do it progressively.
I know what a fear is. It isn’t easy to go away with it.
I know that it’s really penalizing in your daily life. – How can you take seriously someone who is scared by this ?
It took me more than 10 years to get rid of fearing these monstrosities.
How much time will it take for you to forget your fear. I don’t know. Let us discover it.
Let’s define your fear
We spoke about social anxiety. But there is many different type of anxieties, all related to the fear of social interactions.
Some of my friends think that I’m weird. Well, look at my head you don’t get the same conclusion.
They have another reason which adds up to the first. I’m not afraid to talk to stranger, and often match well them.
No matter the situation, I’ll try to speak with someone I don’t know for fun.
It ain’t a game or a task that I put to myself – It was once, that’s how I started –
That’s not weird to talk to strangers
A long time ago, we didn’t have phones. Wonder what those peasant without technology did to entertain themselves ?
They spoke to each others. As we should.
The problem is that more and more guys and girls are afraid to speak to strangers. That’s where it becomes so important to solve social anxiety.
Let’s check that what you have is really social anxiety. It is if :
- You stutter and move your hands for no reason when speaking
- You feel stressed when you must speak to someone
- You hate public speaking – 99% of people do. Fun fact : I love it !
- You don’t want to go out with your friends
- You don’t feel like trying new things – new spots, new adventures… – with other people
- You are a loner – qualify you for the introvert competition
This is how you recognize someone who has social anxiety. After another read it also define introvert, don’t take it bad fellow friends.
Let’s come to the best part.
How to fight social anxiety / how to become more extrovert
1/ Cold approach online
You definitely read some stories about it. A random guy ask a famous entrepreneur something using a cold mail.
Then they become best friends and drink rainbows together.
Well, I believe in these stories because I already got some great experiences while shooting blind mails.
Cold approach online is the easiest one – If you don’t dare the #1, it will be very hard to get rid of social anxiety – of the list.
Everyone can do it. Here is how you will be able to cold approach someone.
- Define the target. I suggest you to choose an entrepreneur, they are open to meet new people.
- Find their contacts. You only need one ! If your entrepreneur isn’t famous famous, then you can try Facebook. Else I recommend to search their mail.
- To find one’s mail use the following template in google : [nameofthepersonnality] mail – Too hard !
- Create your message.
- Add value to it. No one is going to answer a bad message. Mail your entrepreneur as if he is a old friend. You can share a story related to his favorite subject – if you know it -, often his business industry. You can also say how much you admire him and want to become like him – Non recommended shit.
- Wait for the answer.
- Actually, don’t wait. You don’t have much chance to get an answer. That’s why you should mail the same personality many times – once every 2 weeks, else it’s spammy – or mail another entrepreneur to maximize your chances.
Challenge : Get a response from an entrepreneur.
IF you *can’t* do it. Click on the red cross ( The x sign ) in the upper right corner. It will solve all your problems.
2/ Play the big MUSCLOR in the street
Contrary to what the title suggest, you don’t have to look like this guy to do it. Pfiou…
I’m sure that you walk a lot. The next time you do so I want you to do the following.
- Think that you are big – like a bear
- Feel that you are big – like a tyrannosaurus
- Make yourself big – like godzilla
- Define your path
- Walk with a decided step
- Watch people go away from your way – pun totally intended.
I want you to make other passer-by change direction when they look at you.
You know how this should look. It’s impossible that you have never spotted someone doing it.
Most of the time, big guys do it to show that they have big muscle, that they are strong and fearless. Or just because they crave importance.
Well, today we will make an exception and transform you into the MUSCLOR.
3/ Shoot some videos
You won’t turn into an internet star. I don’t even ask you to publish them because you’ll look freaky.
What I ask you to do here is to make a monologue about the subject of your choice and record yourself.
Watch every movement. Listen to any words that you saying. You know, some UNNECESSARY crunch words – Like, actually, basically and company.
Repeat till you get rid of most parasites.
How this shit will help you ? Knowing that you can speak perfectly is a game changer when you are afraid to talk with strangers.
If you can do it alone, which is harder. Then you can do it with someone else.
And maybe even with many people.
Don’t worry, no one will judge you for this. Except me.
4/ Join some Facebook groups
I don’t have to mention it. To become the very best, work on your craft. Crap, I mentioned it.
Facebook groups are opportunities to connect with / introduce you to new people.
It’s fucking easy. Everyone have Facebook. Choose someone,add them, tag them or message them.
Don’t be a CREEP like our extraterrestrial. First picture if you don’t remember, fish brain.
Start a random conversation.
It’s even easier than in real life. Hell you know a lot about these guys. They are in the same group as you = common interests.
Ask what’s their favorite shit about the group, then answer back and you get your conversation.
You can do this as often as you want. There is near 2 billions people on Facebook. You can’t fail to speak with them all.
Fact : We have a Facebook group where we share valuable advices – too common speech
5/ Call a friend
Yeah. Someone you didn’t see a while.
Maybe a comrade of high school. Or your best friend in kindergarten. – Time to brag
Speak about the good old time – cliché ! – before asking them what they become – I know, I know. You don’t care.
Easy task. You have a phone, some numbers to call. All you need is a conversational starter. Wait, I’m about to give you one.
Hey ! [personfirstname]. It's [yourfirstname]. After all this time I found a perfect facebook group for you !
Well no, don’t start like this. Better use :
Hey ! [personfirstname]. It's [yourfirstname]. Remember me ?
It’s way better !
Too hard for you ? Who care ? You won’t see him again anyway.
6/ Watch some videos – care, watching isn’t doing. I can’t guarantee result here
Oh crap. It’s a trap.
I’m sending you to someone else.
You may forgot me and that will be my bad.
Well I don’t care. That’s the valuable #6 advice on how to lose your social anxiety.
Some youtube channels share amazing tips on how to develop your charisma / speaking manner / social life / dating skills
Not another tip. Final boss : talk to 3 different stranger in the street / bus / train / plane / spaceship
If you followed some of our advices, your a social pro now.
It’s time for you to confront our most epic challenge.
Don’t run away or I’ll chase you with my mental super power.
Make us proud !